Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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