I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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