ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
