she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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