He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize