Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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