If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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