you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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