maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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