He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
