My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
