coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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