WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
