i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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