I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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