Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
