I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i think my cat just said my name.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
