Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
