So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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