You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
