your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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