I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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