that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
