Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
