he shaved USA in his pubs
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
