Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize