Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's official drugs can't kill me
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
