she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
