I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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