Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
