i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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