Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
