dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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