he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
