The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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