She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
