I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
