Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
