Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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