sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
This house was built for laser tag.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
