hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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