My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
