The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
