"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
