i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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