she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
