I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
3 2 1 whiskey
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
