the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
do nipples grow back?
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