tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
