You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You don't make any sense
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