Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
