We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
