I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
