they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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