every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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