How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
ttyl tear gas
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
