get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
