I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is Oprah even human
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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