WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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