like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
