if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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