dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
