but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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