This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
